


Matchmaker

by Chaos_is_relative



Category: NCIS
Genre: Humor, M/M, Matchmaking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-07-16
Updated: 2012-07-16
Packaged: 2017-11-10 02:58:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,343
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/461488
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaos_is_relative/pseuds/Chaos_is_relative
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ziva and Tim believe they need to find a match for Tony, who isn´t really excited about it until he faces the person in question...</p>
            </blockquote>





	Matchmaker

**Author's Note:**

> As always nothing belongs to me and I don´t get money from this (I doubt anyone whould pay for it).  
> This fic is inspired by the picture of Ziva and McGee looking for dogs as Tony walked into the bullpen and asked if they were looking for a man for Ziva and I thought what if they were really looking for a man just not for Ziva, but for Tony? Feel free to point out any mistakes if you want to, otherwise you can do with them what you want (to shred them would be a good option^^). 
> 
> Enjoy

A for Ziva untypical giggle broke Tony out of his concentration. The Italian wanted to punish her with an annoyed look but surprisingly he didn`t found his target. Irritated the agent drew both of his eyebrows together and turned his attention to McGee where he finally found his missing colleague. The Israeli was looking over Timothy´s shoulder and pointed at the PC screen, while she chuckled to herself. „No way, too obvious!“  Ziva remarked to the youngest team member.

 

This picture seems rather familiar to Tony… 

 

Getting suspicious he came closer and found his worst fears confirmed: This two were on the side of a dating agency and were looking through the men´s selection! “ _Please_ , tell me you´re looking for a man for _Ziva!_ “ He exclaimed finally, sighing and begging at the same time – He _never_ should have told them that he actually was more attracted to men instead of women (Ok, the influence of alcohol at the time wasn´t unblameable to this – Who expected that a woman drank one under the table?) „No! “The person addressed replied lapidary.  „For Tim?“ ,the brunette asked further. (Hope dies last.) The two conspirators looked at each other. „Not really! “ Tony gritted his teeth and clenched his hands into fist to suppress the urge to hit something (in this case he preferred Ziva, who his subconscious immediately identified as the head of the conspiracy.) „And what gives you the right to interfere in my private life, huh? “ ,he growled at the two.

 

„Tony, “ ,the ex-Mossad officer threw him a glance who should obviously be an answer in itself„… you´re lonely! That´s hard to miss lately. You need someone in your life who makes you happy and all we want to do is to help you found this one!“ ,argued Ziva, standing up at her last words to take both of his cheeks into her hands and forcing him so to look into her eyes. Timothy accompanied the whole thing with a well-meaning nod. The Italian snorted out loud. „With a dating service?? Think about it, Ziva: _Dating_ _service_! And weren´t you the one who meant that you only meet freaks and ex-prisoners there, Tim? No, thank you!“ ,he made known his displeasure while forcing Ziva´s hands away from his face. 

„Tony, we only want your best!“ The brunette sighed. Couldn´t Gibbs finally end this drama? Where was the boss if you need him to give some much needed head-slaps? „Yeah, yeah. Yada, Yada, and why do you even think that I can´t do this myself?“ Tony wanted to know from them. There his co-workers communicated silently that this required no answer since his behaviour answered the question already.  „I don´t need your help, clear!? I can care for myself. Sometimes I really wonder how I survived the last 39 years as much as you two mother hen me. And have you nothing else to do, like I don´t know **work** , perhaps?  (This at least would be much better than working on him…)

 

„Tony!“ ,Ziva started a new attempt to got near him, which he stopped immediately.  „Ahahahhah! Hands of Ziva, **this** _file_ is closed!“, the Italian raised his index finger and threw both her and the computer expert a glance that could have caused a forest fire.  Thus the subject was done for him until he remembered something seconds later. „Don´t you need to be registered to view the profiles?“ Tony spun around again, pointing his fingers at his two teammates. The effect was immense. Tim´s neck slowly but surely changed its color to red and the Israeli looked slightly guilty. “Um..” began the youngest team member and his female counterpart ended the presentation with a “….Maybe?” “You didn´t…? Are you totally crazy?? You can´t register me there without asking me!! You will delete this _, instantly_ , otherwise I will show you what it means to mess with me and then even your experience from Mossad won´t help you, Ziva, so don´t even think about it! I mean it!” 

With only a few steps and pissed off again Tony was by his co-workers and looked on grimly as Timothy dutifully did what he want, even if he sighed softly while Ziva stroked his back encouragingly. The brunette followed the gesture from the corner of his eyes and began to wonder if between this two was more than it seems. “What you´ve actually written in there?” ,he couldn´t help to ask them curious, since he didn´t gave the profile much thought before deleting it.  Angrily he was pushed aside by Ziva on her way to reach her actual workplace.  “Since **_you_** obviously don´t need our help, I don´t believe it concern´s **you** , _Tony_!” she remarked nitpicking. “Don´t believe I will apologize for my behavior!” ,he gave back and went to his files, inwardly shaking his head – Sometimes he really thought he was in a madhouse!

 

Three days later he had already forgotten the whole matter – Ok, more displacing it into the very last turns of his mind – as Ziva whirled past him into his apartment, saying: “Here I am!” before the Italian could even say beep.  (It was clearly a bad idea to go to the door.) “Uh..? Tony looked after her, surprised, since she already made herself comfortable on his couch in the living room.  “Nice furniture, but rather minimalistic, right?” the Israeli commented his furnishing. (Frankly, he was moving at the moment but he surely wouldn´t tell **her** this, afterwards she wanted to know where to.) “Hello Ziva, won´t you come in? Nice that _you_ like it! If I someday need an interior designer I ask you first.” The brunette followed after her, letting his sarcasm run wild in the meantime. “What the hell are you doing here?”  “Well, preparing you for your date!” observed his female teammate, a fact that was obviously only known to her. At least it was new information for Tony as demonstrated by his loudly expressed thoughts.

“What date? I know nothing about a date – you didn´t? But I was watching it….ZeeVah?”  “ You never forbid us to register you _again…_ ” said the person addressed smugly, provoking him into seeing real horror shows in his mind.  (How did he deserve _such_ friends?”) “Forget it, I don´t go on this _date!_ ”, denied the brunette, the last word stressed extra snidely but he couldn´t provoke the Israeli out of her calmness.  “Oh, don´t worry Tony, **you** will!” “Ziva, you can´t force me to go there – There is some little thing called free will! Do you even listen? …. What are you doing now? Ziva?” Loudly lamenting he followed after her again in his own apartment (meanwhile she was in the bedroom).  “Have you really only so few clothes?” asked his last nerve between his tirade.  “I don´t know why this should bother you. Why do you want to know anyway?” Annoyed, Tony ran his hand trough his hair. “Hm, well, it must go. Here, try a look at this!” With these words she handed him a dark black jeans and a purple shirt.  “I´m not wearing this!” _“Tony_!” she almost pleaded with him. “I said No!” “Ok, If that´s what you want!” Ziva shrugged her shoulders and pulled out her phone. One short button press later she already spoke into it.  “Tim, we need Plan B!”

 

Plan B? He didn´t like the sound of that.

 

“What is Plan B, please?” “Oh, nothing! Only a little video tape of you how you manipulate the elevator in the lobby to…” completed the Israeli with a meaningful gaze. “ **That´s** blackmail!” With this exclamation he tore the phone from her hand to tell McGee where they could… uh… take care of that.  “And does it work?” The computer expert remarked unimpressed.  “Well, give it to me, already”, the brunette admitted defeat, sighing, as he returned Ziva´s possession into her hands. Seconds later Tony was in his bathroom, inwardly berating himself to be a complete Idiot – In what has he gotten himself into, now?  As the Italian came out of it he had a feeling of being to a physical examination (the military kind – Not that he ever was to one) from _all_ the attention his co-worker gave him from top to bottom.

“Very nice, only your hair… I don´t know..” the Israeli already wanted to reach for his precious hair, as the brunette batted her hands away. “Hands off my hair! I´ll go there, I´ll maybe even dress like you want me to, _but leave my hair alone_!” In the meantime he pressed his fingers into her chest. “ Ok, Ok! I understand, as long as you go there!” she replied, waving it aside. “Where to, anyway?”   “Your Date, you mean? Don´t worry. I will take you there!” his female counterpart showed her generous side.  “I have no worries, Ziva, I just don´t like you watching me!” Tony snapped at her. “Unlike you, I know what privacy means!” “I believe it, if I see it!” They bickered over this fact the whole way to the restaurant, where his colleague disappeared, as she had promised.   

 

However, just to go on a direct route to and in Timothy´s Apartment, what Tony´s opinion on his personal privacy only supported, since she instantly looked to the youngest team member quizzically.  “And, did it worked?” Tim shrugged his shoulders.  “That depends. We must settle for the security camera over the door but we can at least see who is coming and where he goes. The Israeli was a little bit disappointed, since it seemed that now she wouldn´t learn with whom she paired off her co-worker, even though she was with a technical genius. (Tony doesn´t need to know that there was no photo of the person on his profile.) On the other hand, if the Italian should ever pull off something similar with her, she would try her knifes on him, so maybe it was a good thing. Hanging up her coat in the hall she disappeared temporarily in the kitchen. “I´ll get out the wine. Have you seen the corkscrew, Tim?” Disturbed by his non-answer Ziva walked into the small but cozy living room (luckily Timothy moved so there wasn´t standing as much technic junk in there as before) and saw her boyfriend sitting dumbfounded before the PC. “Sweetheart?” ,she shook him on his shoulder, while ignoring the screen. “He will kill us!” ,he woke out of his trance.

 

 “Who Tony?”  “No….”

 

“Gibbs?” Tony exclaimed pleasantly surprised at the sight of him, while elsewhere a wine bottle sailed unceremoniously to the floor. “What are _you_ doing on a blind Da…Abbs?” he ended abruptly the question why **his** boyfriend was on a Date with a "stranger".  (He too, but he was known to be under duress.) The grey-haired nodded in remembrance what the Goth had thrown on his head a couple of days ago.

_“Gibbs, you can´t always work lonely in your basement, you need to go out and meet someone who isn`t a redhead! (Sorry Boss, but it´s the truth!)” “That´s not really a reason for me to go to a dating agency, Abbs!” he had said, shocked. “ But you must! Don´t worry Bossman, you don´t need to do anything besides showing up for the meetings. (And if you don´t, then I tell Ducky that you weren´t to your last annual check-up!”) **“Abby!” “Gibbs!”** (At lease he could convince her after his defeat to skip the publishing of one of his photos.)_

“Ziva and McGee?” The chief investigator therefore gave back the question with a raised eyebrow. “Jep! And here I feared it would end in a disaster…” Chuckling, the brunette shook his head. “  “Why don´t you went home then? It isn´t as if this two would stand behind you with a gun!” “If you only knew….,” he hinted onto the blackmail,”…but actually I thought to myself I could at least enjoy the food…”  _This_ made Jethro laugh out loud. “Typical DiNozzo!  The main thing is you have something to eat.”  “As long as it´s something, as sweet as you, always!”  “I´m not sweet!” the Ex-Marine replied outraged.  “You are! And generous, loving, fascinating, honest, good-looking…mhm..” the rest went under in a tender kiss.  Finally the grey-haired finished the mutual exploration with a loving nudge on the nose.  

“ _Goofball!”_   “But I´m _your_ Goofball” Tony smiled at him. “And didn´t I tell you that we should finally tell them? If even a PC knows that we are the perfect couple… In one point however Ziva was right, I am a little bit lonely lately – What are you doing in the basement all the time that I can´t see, huh?” His lover whispered the answer into his ear. “You did… what?” he asked astound. “I love you Tony and I wanted to show it to you.”   “I love you too, come let us go, Jethro!” Excited and beaming all over his face the brunette jumped up and tore the chief-investigator with him.  “And what is with the food?” Gibbs nodded into the direction of the waiter.  “Forget it, I didn´t ordered anything yet, anyway! To me or to you?” “What about to **us**?” Jethro remarked significant. Happily snuggled up to his boyfriend Tony kissed him again in front of everyone. “Perfect, I´ve already packed! And by the way the next time you are waiting until the elevator is empty.” The Agent pulled his lover toward the exit as quickly as possible to get home. “Do I want to know…?” “Don´t ask! I still can´t believe you made me a Ferrari bed…” the Italian shook his head. 

 

 

And what this two are doing in their new bed that I leave to your fantasy...

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you had fun and please remind me to never translate one of my fics, again (I wrote it in german first)!  
> Just kidding, I only had the feeling I need more time for translating it than writing it in the first place.  
> *hug*  
> Cath
> 
> By the way: I know it doesn´t really work that way but hey, it´s fantasy. Just assume they aren´t registered under their real names.^^


End file.
